How do we own
our power and our beauty? How do we deny the years of self sabotage, self
criticism or even self hatred? What does owning our power and beauty even
mean?
Well, for me it
means transcending our training, training at the hands of family, school,
society and trusting in the knowing that we are not of this earth, that we are
beautiful beings of spirit, here to have fun and joy in the way that we decided
upon before we even arrived here. Yes, that’s quite a concept to get your head
round, but when you do, everything falls into place, and you can meet any
challenge with a lightness of heart and even gratitude. All setbacks are here
to teach and guide us. We so often see them as proof of our inadequacy and
retreat into despair and self-loathing; how much better to laugh, maybe sigh a
little at how often we need the reminder, and ask ourselves ‘okay, what is this
experience trying to tell me?’.
I am learning
this the hard way, just like you. But I promise it gets easier with practice.
Here are some
practical tips to reclaim your beauty and power that work for me:
- Look into the mirror closely (I’ll
bet you just thought ‘oh, shit’). Go on, look really closely – look into
your eyes and see the wisdom, beauty, compassion and love held there.
Allow yourself to feel them, drown in them, feel joy in them.
- I know that when I make the effort
to wash, put on some make-up and clothes that suit me, my whole mood
lifts, my vibration raises, and I’m filled with confidence. As a good
feminist, I used to believe that this was all superficial crap, designed
to appeal to men and beneath me. If I want to slop around in ugly, baggy
clothes I can, that says nothing about me as a person. Well, there is a
grain in truth in that, but now I know that it was one of my ways to keep
myself small and hidden. When I dress in my power, I feel and look
amazing. A website I found enormously helpful here was http://dressingyourtruth.com –
no affiliate link – it just changed the way I dress and look. And feel
about myself.
- Move from feeling a victim to
owning responsibility for whatever’s happened. No-one can make you feel
what you feel and act how you act. For sure, they may invite you to feel
bad in some way, but just because they throw you a ball, doesn’t mean
that you have to catch it. Think of your initial response as
‘interesting’ and then make a new decision to stand in your own truth and
take whatever you action you know to be appropriate.
- Think back to when and how the
negative beliefs about yourself started. There will be a story there
somewhere of someone saying something hurtful and upsetting. I can think
of at least three from my childhood. My grandmother used to pat me on the
knee and say ’My, you’ve got bonny legs’. There was no doubt in my mind
that she meant ‘fat’. I carried that belief, and made it into reality all
my life, until fairly recently when I looked at a photo of myself aged
about ten and realised that actually, I looked pretty normal. My belief
that I was unattractive was reinforced by my sisters so kindly calling me
‘warthog’ and further confirmed at school: in primary school I was, for
years, in love with Paul, and was desperate for him to ask me to be his
partner in country dancing. I was easily the best country dancer, he
should have asked me, but he always asked Francine. I think it’s funny
now, even a sweet story, but I carried the conviction that it was because
I am so unattractive around all my life. Time to let those stories go.
Make that decision. Every woman is beautiful.
- Choose to be happy: yes, it really is just a choice. No matter what the circumstance, you can feel authentically sad, angry, whatever and at the same time feel happy. You will truly be astounded at the difference making just this one change will make in your life.
Here’s my
challenge to you: change your story, know that you are beautiful and reclaim
your power to be a difference in the world. If you want to know more about the
how, look at my website http://julia-eastwood.com or contact me
about working with me to release the power at julia@julia-eastwood.com.
